The Sun Always Shines On TV?

 

Christina Hendricks: despite her and lots of snazzy suits, I can't be bothered with 'Mad Men'...

This is very much the confessions of a non-TV watcher. When I moved to where I am now, back in September '05, one of the resolutions I made to myself was that I was not going to get a television set. At my old place I watched far too much TV, where it got to the point I was staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning watching any old rubbish. I kept to my resolution, which somewhat surprised the chap from the TV Licence people when he came to visit my flat at the end of last summer. 'If you ever get a set, please inform us,' he mumbled before going for a long sit down.

Not that I'm totally unaware what is on the goggle box. With my PC I have access to the BBC iPlayer, which means I can watch a fair few programmes that interest me. I wish I could say the same for the ITV and Channel 4 versions of the iPlayer, but they simply have nothing on, unless I want to watch 'Coronation Street' ad nauseum or 'Celebrity Wife Swap House Makeover On Ice' just the once. So I watch Charlie Brooker's shows, the occasional documentary ( I watched the history of British Heavy Metal the other night, which provided a diverting 90 minutes of entertainment), sports highlights, 'The Thick Of It' and so on.

What I think I have lost, however, is the ability to watch TV as more and more people watch it. That is, they watch programmes that develop into series and then Seasons with a massive story arc. In contrast, I  find increasingly that  I can watch one-off shows, or programmes in a series that are self-contained stories- and that is it. Maybe there is a bigger yarn to be told, but I like to watch an episode without needing to really know what happened before and afterwards. Simply knowing what the situation the characters are in is enough for me. Any more, no thank you...

Now it could be argued that I have an increasingly short attention span. However, I do not have the same problem with books (I've just finished an 823 page doorstop of a book on the English Civil Wars), music or films. I realise with films that if you could condense the story contained in a television series into a 2 or 3 hour film I would probably watch it, all other things being equal. Perhaps my problem with television is that in a world of limited time, I have to sacrifice something, and TV series that drag on for ages are the thing I have to knock on the head.

  

Tricia Helfer as Six in Battlestar Galactica. Now if that was made into a film for the cinema...

Of course, I could spend whole days catching up with every TV box set ever, but I would think that a waste of time or even a chore. I could be doing other things methinks, without driving myself senseless. Moreover, I have no particular wish to learn how to watch TV differently, thanks very much. I have heard this claim made by a bunch of Nathan Barleys in connection with 'The Wire': 'Oh, you have to learn how to watch television differently when watching The Wire.' No thank you chaps. Incidentally, I am waiting for the day when the police have to go to some Soho watering hole to break up a riot between coked-up media types arguing over whether 'The Wire' or 'The Sopranos' was 'The Best Television Show Ever'.

'The Sopranos' is a good example of how I am through with the way television is going. Some of my favourite films are Mafia/Gangster movies: 'Goodfellas', 'The Godfather' (1 and 2 anyhow), 'Donnie Brasco', 'Casino', Carlito's Way' for starters. Hence, it is not the subject matter of 'The Sopranos' I cannot get a handle on. It's just the thought of wading through an hour-long episode, then more episodes, then entire Seasons/Series, and being told that I have to watch every little thing in case I miss something that will be vitally important in two episodes or two series time...where will I get the time for this? Compared to a 2-3 hour movie, there is no contest for me- I know which I would rather watch. I remember watching the first episode of 'The Sopranos' and half-way through thinking 'this is so slow'. I managed about 10 minutes of the first episode of the last series of  'Mad Men'  before giving up. I did tell myself to give it a go- honest! I quite liked 'A Single Man', so it  is not as if I am averse to films that are set in the US of the early 1960s, full of Cold War paranoia, smartly-dressed men and well-turned out redheads...

 

Julianne Moore in 'A Single Man'

I'll leave my 'Confessions of an ex-TV Junkie' there. Perhaps in the age of falling viewing figures and multi-channel 'choice' I am not alone.